Mom Leaves Child To Return Back To Work Faces Backlash

Returning Back to Work After Maternity Leave: A Journey of Judgment and Resilience

Returning to work after maternity leave is a monumental decision that many mothers face, often accompanied by a whirlwind of emotions and societal judgments. For one mother, the journey to return back to work was not only challenging but also filled with unsolicited opinions and emotional hurdles. This is her story, and it resonates with many working mothers who strive to balance their careers and family life.

The Decision to Return Back to Work

Returning back to work when my daughter was just eight months old was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. Deep down, I knew I wasn’t quite ready to leave her. I still wanted to be at home, cherishing those precious moments of her early life. However, the opportunity for a new job arose, one that I had been seeking even before my maternity leave. It was an opportunity I couldn’t pass up.

The Initial Struggles

The first month back at work was incredibly tough. I would come home at 6 p.m., hold my daughter in my arms, and cry while rocking her to sleep. The emotional toll of starting a new role while trying to spend time with my family was overwhelming. As I was still breastfeeding, I found myself pumping milk in the office, during my commute, and in between meetings to ensure my partner and family could feed her while I was away.

Finding a Routine

Eventually, things started to get easier. We fell into a bit of a routine, and I began to feel happier. Seeing other working mothers at my workplace in similar situations made me feel less alone and less guilty about my decision to return back to work. Their support and shared experiences normalized my feelings and struggles.

Facing Judgment at Work Events

Building up the courage to leave my still-nursing child at home for an evening to attend a networking event was a significant milestone. However, I was caught off guard when a professional from another organization asked, “Why did you choose to return to work full-time? Did you think about going part-time?”

The question, though not malicious, carried an undertone of judgment. I felt a surge of emotions and self-doubt. Did people think I should be at home with my baby? I took a moment to collect myself before responding, explaining that I love my job and am committed to advancing my career. I also mentioned how fortunate I am to have a supportive partner and family to help with childcare.

Balancing Career and Parenthood

Progressing my career is crucial for both my family and me. What I couldn’t articulate at that moment was that working actually makes me a better parent. I struggled with postpartum depression for the first six months after my daughter was born. Maternity leave, while necessary, made me feel isolated and filled with mom guilt. Returning back to work helped me regain a sense of purpose and normalcy.

The Privilege of Parental Leave

During a toddler playgroup session, another mother asked if I didn’t want to take the full year off to be with my daughter. Living in the UK, where parental leave policies are more generous compared to other countries, made this question particularly stinging. While it’s common to take a year off, statutory maternity pay often only lasts nine months unless supplemented by the employer. Financial necessity forced me back to work, and not everyone can afford to take extended leave.

The Reality of Working Mothers

A close friend chose to become a stay-at-home mom after her first child, emphasizing the importance of being present during the early years. Her choice, framed as a universal truth, inadvertently made me question my own decisions. My reality, like many others, is shaped by financial necessity. Both my partner and I need to work full-time to pay our bills and mortgage. The idea of choosing to stay at home simply isn’t feasible for us.

Support from Family and Colleagues

Sharing my feelings with my partner, I found unwavering support. He reassured me that working was the best decision for our daughter and family. My friends and family also rallied around me, helping with childcare and offering emotional support. One friend, who returned to work even earlier than I did, constantly reminds me that while juggling work and family life is challenging, it is also incredibly rewarding.

At work, my colleagues, including my CEO, shared their own stories of balancing career and motherhood. Hearing about their experiences, from breastfeeding in meetings to managing work interruptions by their children, helped me feel understood and supported.

Breaking the Stigma

My daughter always comes first, but shaming working mothers for their choices is unproductive and unfair. Each family’s situation is unique, and decisions about work and childcare are deeply personal. Judging others for wanting to progress their careers while raising a family helps no one. Instead, we should celebrate the diverse ways parents choose to balance work and family life.

Conclusion

Returning back to work after maternity leave is a complex and personal decision. For many mothers, it’s a journey filled with emotional challenges and societal judgments. Yet, it can also be a path to personal fulfillment and professional growth. The key is finding a balance that works for you and your family, and seeking support from those around you.

Returning to work doesn’t make you any less of a parent. In fact, it can make you a more fulfilled and effective one. As society evolves, we must continue to support and empower all parents in their choices, recognizing that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to balancing career and family life.

Source: Business Insider